Comfort Food

Sunday

Have just re-read the last couple of blog updates and realise I'm in danger of becoming tediously dull and a self-pitying old bint. Time to come out of the doldrums, pull up my proverbials, and start enjoying this pregnancy lark. After all, there's no stopping the outward spread of my waistline and it is a perfect opportunity to consume all manner of indulgent food and do little around the house (nesting instinct notwithstanding). The fact is that Singhlette is doing well - the odd internal tumble to remind me s/he is there and alive, makes me very tired if up late or insufficient food available and (allegedly) s/he pees every 40-45 minutes inside the uterus. Now, apart from the fact it must smell like the headquarters of Incontinent Anonymous in there, I'm glad to see my beta is taking after Mummy Singh as I'm peeing at least every 45 minutes or (as with Friday night when I pished [pushed] the boat out on the lager shandy) as frequent as every fifteen minutes. A bit tedious and heavy on the recycled loo roll.

Other exciting developments is that Baby is now the size of an avacado and enjoys games like 'pull the umbilical cord' - might explain the odd sharp sensation (though that might be small but perfectly formed and knobbly feet, knees and elbow if its anything like its father) and the tumbling sensation as it falls over dizzy with oxygen deprevation as it cuts the life-giving flow. Apparently, it's going into a growth spurt, which means lots of lovely cake and afternoon snoozes for me.

On the subject of lovely cake, a news article this week has suggested we've misjudged our optimum calorie intake and we can all handle 300-odd (women) to 340-odd (men) extra calories a day, "the equivalent of an extra pint of lager" as one newsreader put it (shortly before going into coverage of how we're all increasingly obese or raging alcoholics in the UK). Now, given that obesity is on the rise in an alarmingly American kind of a way, one would think that actually our nation is already consuming that extra 300-odd calorie intake, along with a further x-trillion calories which is what could be causing the rising obesity issue and fat people's status as 'the new chav', object of national derision and social ostracization. As someone with a genuine justification for increasing her calorie intake so as to take up two seats on a plane (cattle class only, Dahling, one has plenty of room if one turns left on entering the aircraft and accepts the free glass of fizz accompanied by a warm, damp facecloth), I can see how a mere 300 calories disapeers in the blink of any eye, but I wonder if announcing this to a population already addicted to take-aways and alcopops should be encouraged by BBC news team?

In light of my new chirpy disposition, 36D-and-growing cleavage, MILF status(as Mr Singh so charmingly puts it) and weekly recipe planning sessions to incorporate the wide range of nutrients so necessary to the pregnant heffer, I've decided that I'm morphing into a cross between Nigella Lawson and Kirstie Allsopp (I can't stop looking up rural houses on the internet and reckon I could give them a run for their money on Location Location). Gone are the days of Parisian style waif, hello to saucy yet bossy middle class mother (I've been practising my best plummy home counties voice, though it does tend to drop when I'm pissed off and East End fisherwoman returns). So, with no further ado and extra flour brushing across my heaving bossom, here's today's recipe for busy scrummy mummys wherever you may be...

Jerusalem Artichoke Soup with Lardons or Anchovies
There's not much one can do with Jerusalem Artichokes, which are neither from Jerusalem nor artichokes, but were actually found in Cape Cod (I think) and named by some zealous Puritan explorer. They do, however, make great soup or can be roasted quite nicely. Be careful - flatulence can occur overnight, but they're a lovely little vegetable with a short season so make the most of them and keep the bathroom window ajar. The flavour is a bit nutty, earthy and like a comforting potato, so perfect for stormy nights or cold afternoons. Lardons or fried chopped bacon tastes best, though anchovies disolved in just before the end works for UK-vegetarians as it adds salt and bite (pure veg types will have to have it bland, or else add a bit of fried, meaty mushroom to perk it up). Needs no salt as the bacon/anchovies and Bouillon have plenty already. Best served with hot buttered cheese on toast.

olive oil for fying
1 onion, choppped
2-3 garlic cloves, chopped
15-20 Jerusalem artichokes, with skin, scrubbed and chopped into even pieces
2-3 small potatoes, peeled and chopped into small cubes
squeeze of lemon juice
1 litre of vegetable stock (no two ways about it, Bouillon is best)
Fresh grated nutmeg
Fresh ground black pepper
Bacon - around 2 slices chopped finely - or half tin of anchovies

(i) heat oil, fry onions then add garlic until the edges turn golden#
(ii) add Jerusalem artichokes and potatoe - stir it around until it all begins to soften - add a good squeeze of lemon (stops discolouration plus gives it a bit of zing)
(iii) grate in more nutmeg than you think and a good handful of black pepper - there is a danger of the soup becoming grey and gloupy, the spice gives it life).
(iv) put lid on - if cooking in a regular pan, I reckon you'll need to simmer for an hour or, better still, run the risk of a kitchen disaster and use the pressure cooker - it'll take 30 minutes, just remember to release the steam under the cold tap before opening.
(v) it's ready when the veg is soft and mashable, then whizz it with a blender (one can mash by hand with a potato masher but it's a bit of a pain and quite uneven). Leave it simmering gently with the lid off.
(vi) fry lardon until crispy then turn into the soup, with its fat, and stir through (same if using mushroom). If one is going down the anchovy route, stir little anchovy fillets into soup for a minute or two until it disolves.
(vii) serve in big bowls with a dollop of cream or creme fraiche.